The REAL Reason for this season!

In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be registered. (Luke 2:1 ESV)

Yesterday while scrolling my Facebook page, I saw a lot of posts dripping with anger, resentment and sarcasm delivered by depression. I remember feeling sad for those who don't care to celebrate such a time as the birth of Christ. Granted, no His birth was not in the dead of winter, nor was it how most movies depict it. And I get why some choose not to celebrate because it is also a time of Winter Solstice celebration formally named Jól which is a pagan celebration in which a Yule (tide) feast is given to honor a certain god. I can see that this time of year is racked by greedy retailers who while trying to make the most money by having the best "deals" have simultaneously attempted to take Christ out of the equation or by consumers and retailers alike have begun the process of rushing a time of thanksgiving in November to get to the buying and gift getting instead of giving. I will most likely get a lot of flack about this post, then again I have been surprised before. Here is my outtake and why as Christ followers we cannot ignore this season for a certain Reason.

In school, I remember having certain friends who hated the fact that their birthdays were in the summer because they did not have good "turnouts" for their parties. My daughter has a few friends who are like that. But now the new trend, a smart one I say, is to hold a party after school is back in session. Even my youngest daughters birthday falls at an awkward time now that she is in high school. Friends who are in spring sports don't have that much time attend parties as soccer, baseball/ softball and track are in full session. So we improvise and move the time of any celebration to before her birthday. I will even be celebrating my birthday beforehand as I prepare to go in a mission trip to Jamaica this next year (prayerfully). I say all that to point out it's not the date that's as important, it's the event. My children's birth dates will always be important to me but as they get older, we celebrate when time and funds permit. My two oldest are 2 years and a month apart and so for big celebrations, like this next one, we will celebrate in the middle of both for both. The date of Christ's being born is so significant to us as it was in biblical times because his birth came at a time of greedy rulers, despair, taxes that should have been illegal and a great outcry to God for the coming Savior that was foretold. But we seem to always have those things with us. Depression, poverty, sickness, greed, and a great outcry happen everyday. I believe there is a reason we do not know the exact day that Christ was born. Yes I know scholars have done extensive research with dates, seasons and even looking at the region and when the events normally happened. But if God wanted us to focus on an actual date, it would be in the Bible as many dates are. Don't you think Jesus' birth was that significant to Him that if He wanted us to know it, He would have told us? While many Christians are biting down on this "not celebrating the birth of Jesus" fad, I believe the enemy of our souls is able to step in and bring confusion to the table with him. We as children of the Most High argue with each other, non believers and those who aren't sure what they believe yet about whether to celebrate a day, whatever the actual date may be, when God was brought low in the form of man to exonerate man of sin by his ultimate sacrifice on a tree, which we also argue whether to celebrate His death and subsequent being raised from the dead (Easter). Am I saying promote the fantasy of Santa and the Easter Bunny in lieu of Christ's birth and sacrifice for us? No, not at all. When my children were a little younger, Easter baskets ad egg hunts were done on another day, usually the Saturday before, and even though I had not even had a personal relationship with Christ, His birth and sacrifice days were set aside for myself and my kids. As they got older, we moved gift exchange to New Years Day and well, there are no more Easter baskets.

Here's what I am ultimately saying, because I can be long winded. Luke is where the Disciple who took the time to explain some background about what was going on around Christ's birth. He tells of Caesar Agustus' newly required registry which would lead Joseph and Mary to Bethlehem. In a deeper look into those times, we find out that Herod, a fanatical Jewish wannabe, heard of the Messiah's coming and ordered the death of many male children. We find out about the famine, the wailing, etc. All of that is just as important as the actual birth to know God's perfect planning and timing for our lives. How can we then react as Pharisees would have with the Law and focus on a date instead of the importance? In two different places we are told in God's Word that everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial (1 Corinthians 6:12, 10:23). The second time it is said has to do with giving God glory. So lets ask ourselves, if we celebrate this holiday, is there no way God can get the glory? Is there no way we can use this time to draw those to Christ, to be a light to this dark world? This, along with any disaster or tragedy, appears to be the only time most will be "kind" and support each other, even attend church. Shouldn't we take advantage of this opportunity as we are told in Colossians 3:23? My children and I have made changes to the way we celebrate CHRISTmas and I can see God positioning us to give, worship, to bless others, to give ourselves away, not because of the negative foundation of this holiday but because even what the world means for evil, God will use for good.... that is if we let Him use us. So with that, I say Merry CHRISTmas and pray you say the same!

ABBA, thank You for giving the ultimate Gift of Your only Son for us. Forgive us for making this about a date and falling into the pharisaical trap of the enemy while others are rapidly removing from Him this celebration. Help us not to be so careful of dotting "i's" and crossing "t's" that we forget that, Jesus YOU are the Reason for this season no matter how it came about. Wake us up and set us right, Lord. And if for some reason it is not Your will for us to use this time to celebrate you and give to others unprecedentedly and with great avidity while teaching our children of the greatest Gift ever, then forgive me for my ignorance and You teach me! In Jesus name. Amen!

Transparent Arrival

But concerning that day or that hour, no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Be on guard, keep awake. For you do not know when the time will come. (Mark 13:32, 33 ESV)

Well, its December 22, 2012 and the works is still here, along with everyone else that opened their eyes today. There is a song that I used to love when I was younger! I never knew the meaning of the band Queen making this song and I didn't know all the lyrics but I loved the song, Another One Bites the Dust! That's how I feel about this latest prediction of the world ending in December 21, 2012!

Since 1970, a very significant year for me, there have been 41 predictions concerning the end of the world. Obviously, all attempts have failed, however I bring this up because in plain sight and in black and white it is said that "no man" knows (KJV) the day or the hour. The word for "hour" in the Greek text is hora (pronounced hōrä) and can mean a time or season. My question if it is written in black and white, why are so many who claim to be of faith and "know God" still trying hard to produce a date? Seriously, do we really want to know and will that bring about change or just laziness and selfishness until the time is near? Perhaps we don't know because if we did, this is precisely what would happen. Which brings me to verse 32. While Jesus answered the Disciples question of when the signs he talked about would be done, his answer of no man knows, he also gave them a command that is prevalent yet forgotten today. He told them to be on guard and keep awake because no one knows the time.

I can remember CHRISTmas season as a child before my parents divorce. I can remember always thinking how silly my parents were to try and hide my presents from me. I would search every year from the age if about 7 to 12, the CHRISTmas after they separated, and would always find my presents! I would incorporate my brother in this feat as well, after knowing he wouldn't go run his mouth telling on me of course! One important factor is to know that we are military brats. So we moved quite a bit. A few of these times, my junior detective work would be in a new house, but I always solved the mystery! When done, I would carefully lift off the tape, glad tape is much stronger these days, and open the presents, just a bit, to see what I was getting.... okay and to tease my brother about knowing what he was getting in those years before his preschool detective work. I was always excited to know what my presents were and that upped my anticipation for CHRISTmas morning when I could tear into those carefully wrapped bags and boxes only to leave the living room in a huge wrapping paper debacle. But on that day, even though I woke up excited, would stare at the presents like a hungry lion does while laying in wait for that exact moment it's prey is oblivious to its presence, and mind you, I was up by 4:30-5am! Even though that anticipation boiled over like an old school percolator filled with coffee, when my parents, in what seemed to be DECADES later, came to the living room as a signal to start tearing into the flesh, I mean wrapping paper, I was never as excited as I was when I first knew what I was getting. I said all that to say, that's how us knowing when the end would be.

In such a sin soaked world, where the Burger King motto has become our new National Anthem, would we really use the time we knew the end date to wisely? Many terminally sick people spend their time with family and friends, doing things THEY never got to do and buying things THEY never had as if they could take it with them. When in fact, vs 15 says do not go back for anything. There are even those who have been diagnosed and go on a revenge spree hoping that they will have the time to "get right with God" before they die. Rarely has anyone been told, "you have this many days, months or years," and they sacrificed even more, spent more time in their Word, growing and hearing from God, dedicating even their last breath to live out His will for them, sharing His Gospel. Don't get me wrong, it is done. But those are people we don't hear about. They seem to die quiet deaths and only the hearts they touch cry out for them. The ones we do hear about are those who had no idea when they were going to die and spent their lives as His Light, radically changed for Him! This too is good. My point is, if we all knew when our "expiration date" was, would we continue the way we are? Why do we need a date to tell us we should surrender our lives to Jesus when we can do it now and live out our days filled with love, joy and peace as the adopted sons and daughters of the one true King and reap all the blessings He has for us?

The rumors of wars may or may not have begun, depends on who you ask. The Rapture may or may not be, and may or may not have happened already. Nations may be rising against each other, but they have been doing that for centuries. The world may be in labor pains to make way for Jesus or we could still be in the beginning, who knows! Birth is a complicated thing. But what I do know is He WILL be coming in a cloud, the same way He left in his ascension, and He will be coming to collect His elect. We have but one life, and how we live it, Who or what we serve will testify as to where we will be. He IS coming back and we do NOT know when that will be. Once you grasp hold of that, how will that alter how you live?

Heavenly Father, You reign on high! Yet You are so personable to be right here with us in the midst of all we go through. Help us to focus on You and not when You will come. Forgive us for being selfish people who sit and wait like at a bus stop, never interacting or speaking to anyone because we are only focused in our destination. Help us to be secure that You are coming back for us, like You promised, so that we can go about our lives in such a way that we bring people to that "bus stop" with us to ride to our destination Home with You. And for those who do not know You, who are wounded and as a result have chosen not to know You, help them to see the loving, faithful, just Father You are and because of You their lives would be forever changed! Start a WildFire in us and help us to be bold in proclaiming Your Gospel in all nations (Mark 13:10). Help us to endure these birthing pains and to be on guard and awake. Thank You that the days are growing shorter so that the time will grow nearer! Call us to repentance, Lord, and others to salvation! In Jesus name. Amen!

Transparent Tragedy

 “….In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

December 14 is a day that will be burned forever in our hearts and will be a question mark in our minds until such a time that we can God face to face. I am sure the day started for most like any other, but I am just as certain there was one or two led to pray for that day. As the world watched helplessly to find out just what had happened, how many were injured or dead and why someone would do such a thing in a seemingly innocent place, I am certain there were prayer warriors and intercessors all over crying out for the families, staff, responders and even the nation. Even as I read and became angered by the thoughts and words of careless people on social media sites and news reports online, the two messages that came across clear was for us as believers, not to be discouraged but to encourage others and that in this world, it is very certain that we will see and feel pain, have trials and death but we need to take heart because He has already overcome this wicked world! I saw one cry from many and that was how could God let this happen? Dear hearts, God did not “let” this happen, we did. We have become so complacent in our pews and drama free lives that we walked away from our First Love and allowed Him to be “taken out of the schools” because we didn’t want to ruffle feathers. As few of us as there seem to be, our voice, our cries are loud when in unison with the angels and the voice of God Himself crying out for His children to wake up! When will we take a stand? We will not change the outcome of the sentence for this wicked world. We will not stop violence or vile things that are being done, but we can surely bring more to salvation and help them turn from their wicked ways if we would only hear God’s cry for us to turn from ours.

Two years ago, December 4^th, my world was rocked again when on the news I heard of the disappearance of a beautiful young lady who was a former youth at my old church. I loved this young lady, her mom and her younger brother like my own family. I had been out of touch with her mom for quite some time as I went through a valley or two of my own but she was one of the first to encourage my writing. I tried furiously to find her information so that I could be there for her but God led me to just pray. She was never found and I am back in contact with her mom but still wonder where she is, if she is okay, is she held against her will, was she one of the youth that were taken for a teen human trafficking ring where kids were abducted and forced into prostitution. I even find myself looking for her when driving or in a store from time to time. (Tyler Thomas is her name and she is 22 now) But as scary an ordeal that is and unfathomable for a parent to not know where their child is, Jesus has already overcome.

It’s a hard concept to accept at times, I will be the first to admit, but at the same time it is so comforting to know that we win no matter how much hurt, pain, trials, brokenness, sickness and death we witness or go through, we win. It’s a very sobering thought when you are in the midst of trials. I am recently coming to that realization and settling my thoughts on this and every time I have a valley to walk through, I remember that Jesus has already been there and for me, won.

Meditate on this promise today. Learn the meaning of the words in Greek and what Jesus meant by them. Continue to pray for all families, the community and those first responders who had to pull out the little bodies from that school on Friday. Pray that this will awaken them to a God, who hurts when we hurt, catches every tear when we cry and longs for us to be in relationship with Him so that when this world is gone, we can be with Him with “no more crying” forever.

Dear Lord, thank You for being a sovereign God, a God in control and firmly planted on Your Throne. Would You breathe down on those who are affected by this past week’s tragedies a breath of comfort and peace? Would You ignite in Your people a hunger not for the world’s justice but Yours? Lord would You use this to call those to salvation and repentance so that we can go out into this harvest which is ready and bring them to You? Cover us, Lord and be our Comforter when the time comes. Put urgency in our hearts and a desire that comes from You as well as boldness and courage! In Jesus name. Amen! 

Transparent Unity

 “When the day of Pentecost arrived, they were all together in one place. And suddenly there came from heaven a sound like a mighty rushing wind, and it filled the entire house where they were sitting.” Acts 2:1-2

 There is a saying, based off of Scripture, that says “A house divided will fall, a house united will stand,” or something like that. I really love the concept because we sometimes have no idea how true that is. I dare anyone to prove that a person on their own can do more and be more efficient than a group of people working together. Ah, but there is the kicker. The group or family has to be working together, towards the same goals. One thing I have found true in my home is if there is division, if there is not a unified front, we fail and cannot move forward.

I was in church at our 4:30 prayer service on morning when God made this plainly and painfully clear to me. Upon reading this particular verse, I was flooded with the knowledge that we as Christ followers are looking to generally at this verse. It is NOT about us being on one accord in our thinking or “man’s will” which was prayed against that very morning but also that the “in one place” this verse is speaking of is NOT a building. It’s a state of mind, a state of being. The Greek word for one place is autos, meaning himself, herself, themselves; the same. When I looked this up further, the word “one” came up and the Greek word for it is hos and the meaning is “to the same” which literally means “for the same purpose.” I was instantly flooded with sadness because God was saying the reason we have not been able to move effectively in the fields and bring the hurt, broken, sick, lost, and wandering to Him is because we are not on “one accord in one place.” We have adapted the will of man which helps us to bring in the most people instead of bringing in those who are hungry for something new. With those masses we bring in hoping they will get a glimpse of who God is to us and adapt that desire, we then begin to water down His message to fit them and not offend them. We have become complacent in our walk and He is not pleased. We have become…. as the world is. They have become our light instead of us being the Light of the world. We have taken the lie that we are small or one person and cannot make a difference to heart and made it our own.

This message does not come lightly. I cried out for a good hour and a half, even for those who were inside the building crying out for our city. They could not see that, as the very song I am listening to right now says, “The change I want to see, must first begin in me. I surrender,” (Song of Intercession, William McDowell). We need to remember that WE are that City on a hill and they are watching us. Would we, not knowing how to parent at first, take our cues and instruction from our newborn? We may adapt to a schedule that suits them for a while but the next thing we do is to put THEM on a schedule that is conducive to us. We don’t parent the rest of our lives by how they react do we? The world is watching us, to see not only what we do in situations but also to see what they are able to get away with; what we will not stand on His holy ground for. What will your response be?

Sovereign Lord, Abba, we are crying out to You today! We are in desperate need of Your guidance, clarity and wisdom. We want to hear from You, Lord so that we know which way to go. Forgive us for our following man’s will and help us to get back to You and Your desires. Unify us, Lord any way necessary. In Jesus name. Amen!

Transparent Feet

How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him who brings good news, who publishes peace, who brings good news of happiness, who publishes salvation, who says to Zion, Your God reigns.” Isaiah 52:7

This past Sunday marked the end of one chapter and the beginning of a new one in this adventure we call life. I have been at Bridge Church for a little over 3 years in all. I had an invitation before to come and help out with the youth earlier that year, 2009 but did not act on that invitation. It wasn't until a thuggish looking black man who was always smiling talked to me during a SLT fair at my Bible college, Grace University. We seemed to hit it off and I immediately looked at him as a younger brother and we began this sibling relationship as I began to volunteer at this Bridge Church. I watched him grow, make mistakes, learn from some and make some of them again. I watched him grow in the Lord and even make some changes he thought might make him even better. We have a the best of laughs and even clashed so much I thought the old Fefe was gonna break free and beat him down, except the fact he is bigger than me. But through all of that, through the many prayers, outcries, rants, disagreements, blessings and even anointing that God had me and a friend do over him, he is a man of God who desires to see every single young person say “I once was lost and now I’m found.” He loves God with his whole heart and loves people with the same fervor. He has had his bullying moments and speaking the Good News about Christ and he has had his moments of rejection but he keeps going.

What he didn't know was that last summer, that I and the same friend who anointed my brother in Christ with me, prayed for him and I spoke the words during prayer with her, “Myron is leaving.” Don’t know how I knew, didn't know what it was gonna look like, but I knew his time to step up was coming. Myron Pierce is now being led to plant a church in Colorado Springs, CO called Passion City and I await the fire that will come out of him being obedient with this seed in his and his wife’s life.

While listening to him yesterday, what God spoke to me is this verse in Isaiah isn't just for those who are pastors, mega church leaders or Bible scholars. It’s for us, those of us who are in Christ, seeking God’s face even while in the face of trials. This is what Myron desires. Not to be the biggest, baddest preacher here on Earth (although he acts like it sometimes =]), his desire is to be a fire starter. To run with the torch God has given him while in this race and start fires, ignite torches, use that fire to show the passion God has given each of us already. He is crazy, he has ADHD, and he struggles with inadequacies, but he is a black man with a mission and will not hesitate to jump out of a car to tell someone about Jesus! THAT is what we should be doing! THAT is what makes our feet beautiful on the rough, steep, rock filled mountains called life. Our words, our torches, our fire, our walks are never going to look the same. But what should be mimicked is the path of Christ. Our feet are all different sizes and so that will change how we walk. Some will have smaller steps, some are pigeon toed, and some will have crutches and wheel chairs. It doesn't matter how we walk the path of Christ as long as we stay on His and not try to change it to fit ourselves or someone else OR try to make our own. My message I am charged to give you today, as well as Myron is, stay the path. Stay on the path made for you by God, not by man or self. He can see the end because He is the Author and Finisher of our faith, after all. Be steadfast and unmovable. Don’t even flinch when something comes your way. You may not feel ready for it, but God is and He has well prepared you for this journey and EVERY trial that comes with it. STAY…. THE…. PATH!!!

Father God, thank you for the people like Myron who are contagious, who stumble yet get up, who fail yet keep going, who almost give up but then give it to You. They show me how much You really love me and how to really love them. As we deliver Your Good News to those in need, help us to walk a path that will lead them to You long after we are gone. Help us to remember that You, our God, reign! And Lord, bless Myron, Kristin and their two children in this new journey. I don’t ask that they will not be in need, but I ask that they will remember even in need, even in excess that they can do all things through Christ who gives them strength.  In Jesus name. Amen!

Would you who read this, put the Pierce’s on your prayer list and lift them up as they will be leaving in January? God bless you!

Transparent Floodwater

When you go through deep waters,

I will be with you.

When you go through rivers of difficulty,

you will not drown.

When you walk through the fire of oppression,

You will not be burned up;

the flames will not consume you. Isaiah 43:2

This week we are on our knees interceding for the East Coast again for the second hurricane, Sandy. There are those fasting and praying for people they don’t even know because of the lost state the nation is in and how we have begun to think foolishly. People are staying in their homes when they should be evacuating, they are not taking proper precautions when they should be prepared. But when the storm is over, they are throwing up their fists at God because of the destruction and/ or seeking answers to the question, “If God really loves us, why does He keep punishing us?” or “Why does God allow bad things to happen?” and finally coming to the conclusion because of lost loved ones or materials, “There must not be a god. He wouldn’t allow any of this to happen. He would save us if he existed.” So I want to take a moment or two to be transparent about things going on now and how that last statement is NEVER true.

About a week and a half ago, there was about 7-9 murders in our city of Omaha. All were somehow gang-related or innocent people in the way of mindless shooters. Two of those affected me personally because I knew one, he was a classmate of my youngest child and I visited him in DCYC, and the other though I had never met him personally, I know the mother of one of his children and one of his daughters very well. I felt hurt and anger on the same day because I had heard about both on the same day. I can remember driving to my daughter’s football game where she is a cheerleader with many different thoughts, about as many as the tears that flowed for these lost souls who will never be seen again on earth. Asking God why, feeling bad for being thankful that my children are alive, getting angry with those who killed them, being angry that God allowed it even. And then peace came over me. Psalm 91:7 came to mind and how these senseless violent acts will happen. This verse in Isaiah says it perfectly. Did you notice it or did you just scroll over the one word that makes this verse so powerful like I did so many times? Read it again, I’ll wait…. See it this time? There are 3 sentences in this one verse. All three sentences have different things that are described as happening, assuredly, guaranteed. How do I know? Because all three sentences begin with the word “when”, not “if”. See the difference? This is assured to happen just like when you breathe in you are assured to have oxygen enter your body. Guaranteed just like if you slap a wild tiger in the face when they are asleep, they are guaranteed to wake up and tear into you if you are silly enough to stand there and wait.

With these and plenty other local deaths, along with the death of Michael Jackson a few years ago, Whitney Houston earlier this year and other well known famous people I grew up with, I am becoming well aware that death is real. Not that I wasn’t before. I had to face it when I was a teenager and my grandmother, my favorite person, died of ovarian cancer. My heart shattered more than I, my parents, or anyone else knew. It was my first close experience with death because at that very moment when I saw her in her casket, I knew she wasn’t ever coming back. I couldn’t even go to the burial, well get out of the limo. It did more to me than I actually knew. I know now looking at pictures of that day I don’t even remember being in.

            That’s life. Growth, hurts, sickness, disease, brokenness, sadness, death are all part of this cycle we call life. What separates some of us from the rest is a four letter word. H-O-P-E. Those who are IN Christ, not that post on Facebook about Him or go to church to sit through a teaching about his life or casually say we love God, we have hope. We know that this world will at some point end and with it our hurts, trials and heartaches. But even we forget from time to time. It’s like a big wave coming at you on a beach and you stand tall to feel the force of it, but when it comes, it still knocks you down and you may still inhale a little water from it. We all have trials, tests, and things we don’t want to go through but to be able to go through stuff knowing God has promised to never leave or forsake us makes it so much easier! It’s like doing a Beth Moore Bible study with Beth Moore. No one can teach her courses like she can. No one can get you through the rough patches like God can or nothing for that matter! The question is will you go through your hardships of life that WILL happen with or without the Author or Finisher of your life? I mean, would you travel without a map or GPS? Would you take a class online without ever speaking to the instructor? Would you fix or build something you never had before without the manual? If you have done any of the above before, how did it turn out for you? John 16:33 assures us that “in this life we will have tribulation.” But the second part is a promise that we need to cling to. “But take heart (have courage); I have overcome the world (I already won the war!). How many wars have you heard a president say that for? And wouldn’t you go through it more confidently if they were able to make that promise? God had a Son named Jesus that He sent here to earth to do just that. Through His death on the Cross, despite the sins already committed, we are committing right now and what has yet to be committed, He died a horrible death to save us. His blood was shed so that we can live life to the fullest, through Him, even with the many disappointments, heartaches, trials and tribulations He PROMISED we would have. Take full advantage of it dear ones, don’t let His death be in vain as many dying nowadays have been, are and will be.

Let’s pray. Dear God, thank You for sending Your only Son to die the death we deserve for us! There are so many who ask the question, “what kind of father would let his son die for those he doesn’t know?” Thank You for being that kind of Father that loves us enough and thinks of us enough to give such a sacrifice we could never even repay. Today I say again that I will live my life indebted to You Jesus for Your sacrifice on the Cross. You could have come down but You stayed. When I think of the many sins I have committed, am committing still and will commit I know without You I am not worthy and would not make it through these times. I pray that after reading this, others will come to that same conclusion and surrender what they thought they could control, their lives, over to you. Be with those who have lost, who feel no hope and Lord, those who have turned away. Be also a Refuge for those in the midst of this storm, any storm whether physical or spiritual. In Jesus name. Amen!

Transparent Voice

Behold my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen, in whom my soul delights; I have put my Spirit upon him; he will bring forth justice to the nations. He will not cry aloud or lift up his voice, or make it heard in the street; a bruised reed he will not break, and a faintly burning wick he will not quench; he will faithfully bring forth justice. He will not grow faint or be discouraged till he has established justice in the earth; and the coastlands wait for his law. Thus says God, the Lord, who created the heavens and stretched them out, who spread out the earth and what comes from it, who gives breath to the people on it and spirit to those who walk in it: “I am the Lord; I have called you in righteousness; I will take you by the hand and keep you; I will give you as a covenant for the people, a light for the nations, to open the eyes that are blind, to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon, from the prison those who sit in darkness. I am the Lord; that is my name; my glory I give to no other, nor my praise to carved idols. Behold, the former things have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them.” Sing to the Lord a new song, his praise from the end of the earth, you who go down to the sea, and all that fills it, the coastlands and their inhabitants.

Isaiah 42:1-10 (ESV)

Have you ever been so excited to go somewhere new that you got cold feet? Like, you started inventing new things to worry about and even starting praying for God to close the door to that opportunity? I know you can’t see but I am raising my hand right now! That happened to me twice this summer! The first time was when I went to enroll and take my entrance test for college. Now mind you, I am no “fresh out the egg” chicken and I have been to college before… several different times. Each time it was for something different and I just KNEW this was what I wanted to do ranging from psychology to youth ministry to early childhood development. But each time, I was missing something, God’s order.

          This last time, I asked God what it was He wanted me to do instead of praying for what I wanted to do. He answered just as quickly as if to say to me, “Well I’m glad you asked Felicia!” The answer was to get my teaching certificate. Something I had been hearing for years and took no time in running from that statement. This time, I not only stayed but made it a point to quickly enroll. The result? I am for the first time on the honor roll!

          The next time this summer was for a leadership summit in Chicago with my church. Now let me am really… transparent. I really only wanted to go because I had never been to Chicago! When the invitation was given me, I did not hesitate to say yes, no praying and getting back to them, no seeking God, nothing but yes! Then the time got closer… and closer… and closer. I started to have new inventions of things to worry about. What if someone broke into my house while my adult kids were home? What if my oldest daughter, who is working, missed the bus and my mom was at work and could not take her? What if my son, who was on summer break, just sat in the house all day on his computer or watching TV? What if my youngest, who is a sophomore in high school, needed me or needed to get to practices during the day? Did I really think they couldn’t get along without me? So I started to panic and ask God to close the very door I had recently asked Him to give me revelation as to whether I was to go. I no longer wanted to go somewhere that was 8 hours away from my kids who I raised to the best of my ability and handed over to God was I surrendered my life.

          A crazy thing happened a couple of days after praying with a friend and leader of the church who I shared this with. God opened another entrance to this very same door! My youngest two were able to go with me. I asked my oldest because I set it in my heart that if she couldn’t go or wasn’t invited, I wasn’t going either! But she declined and that left me standing at the door with no more excuses but to walk in. I will now be referring to her as the Infidel!!

          That week was awesome! First because I didn’t have to pay a red cent on this trip unless I wanted something to take back, and second because I had never been in Chicago (I don’t count the inside airport) and I was in awe with the nostalgic scent in the air, and lastly but most definitely not least the conference. The confirmation, the encouragement, the wisdom, and the ideas I received from that place! I was speechless! I think I took so many notes that I could write an informational booklet from them alone! Shout out time: Thank you Bridge Church, Willow Creek Church (Bill Hybel) and city of Chicago for such a great end of summer vacation this year and thank You Lord for being consistent and persistent in me going and learning from You!

          Okay, now for the parable lesson. There was one speaker that was very short in stature, I’m guessing no more than 5’0 tall and her voice was like that of a frail mouse. But she captured that room plus the other nations that watched by satellite with the power God had given her in her voice. It reminded me of the small still voice that we are to listen for when the chaos of this world seems to be distracting and luring us away with its loudness. We couldn’t help but listen. And then she read the very verse God has given me as my ministry… Isaiah 42:1-9. I was blown away! I wanted to get up and run away screaming but the Holy Spirit speaking through her dared me to stay and listen.

What she simply said was no matter how small the world and even the church sometimes thinks you are, you matter to God and His purpose. You are counted in as a warrior for His Kingdom and there is no more time to sit on the sidelines because someone else has told you that you don’t matter or you don’t have a speaking voice, or you aren’t the right model for a leader or have simply not noticed what you do because you are not in the limelight. Pranitha’s ministry is in the darkness rescuing modern day slaves who have given up on anyone ever saving them. Yet she goes where she can get shot at, kidnapped, arrested for being on private property and I would even guess that as I write this 3 weeks later that she is in the thick of going after men, women and children who are enslaved putting herself in the forefront of danger for the sake of the Kingdom. I had to ask myself, what have you done? I have to ask you, the reader, what have you done?

          Has someone lied and told you or tried to make you believe you and what your vision is didn’t matter and wouldn’t make it? People have told me for years I matter but only to the degree in which they wanted to use me. For 3 years I have been surrendered to Christ but living as a free slave of the world because I counted what leaders told me as true about me. That I needed a specific speaking style, that I needed some more training, that God wasn’t ready to release me yet and that what I had to offer wasn’t what they needed in their church. Pranitha opened, not unlocked, that door of bondage and I am walking out!

This week and into next I will be meditating on Psalm 139:23-24 and asking God do something difficult, asking Him to search my heart. He is already opening doors; I have just been too afraid and riddled with guilt and lies to walk in. I refuse to have the “rocks cry out on my behalf.” How about you?

Father God, I ask forgiveness for the bondage Your Son’s blood freed me from yet I went back to the comfort ability of it. Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends You, and lead me to the life everlasting. Help me to step up and keep walking to step out! In Jesus name. Amen!