Seasons Slump...

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 2 Corinthians 4:8


The sound of bells jingling, the smell of fresh pine, cinnamon and baking in the air. The cheerful sound of "ho ho ho, Meeeeeerry Christmaaaaas!!” coming from the bellies of those dressed as Old Saint Nick and others and the appearance of season's greetings filling the air. But something else fills the air during this supposed joyous time. Much like the dreaded seasonal flu sicknesses taking flight in the air, being passed quicker than the school yard notes about the newest fight happening after school... depression catches on when we least expect it, before we can even deflect its damaging symptoms. Some don't even know they are depressed yet daily push people away, grumble at the season’s greetings... and even get kicked off of flights for the anger associated with depression.

I was one of those people up until a few years ago. No, it wasn't when I surrendered that I was freed from this isolating sickness but when I REALIZED that I was silently succumbing to depression. Every year somewhere between the middle of November and the beginning of December I would begin to retreat to my room. Usually, I would have faithful visitors in my room in the persons of my three kids. We would sit and watch TV in my room, listen to music, and when they wanted go outside and play, I would usually watch them from my room. There was only one thing wrong with my sickness... I did not know I was sick. Friends and family would call me and ask several times a week, "Are you okay?" and follow up with the comment, "You sound empty." You see, I thought I was doing a great job of hiding the loneliness, the despair and the feelings of not being good enough that seemed to be confirmed every time I stepped out of the house (usually for church). I apparently had gotten so good at it that I didn't even know when depression came to visit. I knew all I wanted to do was sleep, I knew all I wanted to do was stay in the house, I even knew there were times when I couldn't force myself to eat for weeks on end, even though I made my kids. I liken it to having a large animal (let's go with hippopotamus size) on my back or around my neck yet never knowing it. Even the first year that I had surrendered my life, I tried to make amends for certain things and actions towards family and friends but quickly sank right back into my cold, dark dungeon of a cell when I didn't feel the apologies were good enough. I felt, once again, like a failure and the enemy was right there to, faithfully, greeting me with the all too familiar "I told you so's".

But the enemy wasn't even the problem at that point... I was. You see I was free, I just didn't realize it. I knew at the exact moment when I was supposed to surrender, I knew that I heard God say to me "If you let Me, I will love you." What I didn't know was that I wasn't just surrendering my broken heart from a tumultuous relationship, I was to surrender even my broken dreams, my broken spirit and the lies that I had been told for years that seemed to surface like old coffins when the ground opens up from years past. I was still depressed.... there I said it; I even contemplated suicide a few times. The very thing I thought would free me, salvation, seemed to thrust me further into depression because I just could not get it right! BUT GOD!!

In the past 5 years, He has been showing me time and time again that I am worthy of His love, His time, His faithfulness! Let's face it! I have messed up quite a bit in the past 5 years, yet He still loves me! And not because of me but because of Him! That is the straw that broke the depression camel's back! At first, I couldn't understand why God kept sending people to tell me that He loves me during some of the darkest times of my life. It felt like I was sinking in quagmire (quicksand, I just really wanted to type the other word) and people kept walking by as I was calling for help and saying "God wants you to know how much He loves you." I could not wrap my mind around this statement. I felt like even saying some of those times, "I don't care!! How is that going to help me??" But it was the constant knowledge that He loves me that cushioned each fall, each push from someone, each disappointment, each bump in the road.

Depression is a mild cold that you can sleep away or "sweat out" the fever. Depression is a killer, plain and not so simple. For those of us who are Christians, who live out His Word, we need to set the example to those who do not. We can't do that if we are not transparent about our struggles. They will not see that we are human just as they are if they only see our "Sunday best" and nose turned up to most things done in the world. They will not know that Jesus is the Truth, the Way and the Life or that He cares for us as Scripture says if we are not SHOWING that we need it from time to time ourselves. For 2015, I want to start THIS year long, possibly LIFELONG challenge. That we would LIVE out the footsteps of Christ, that we would show others, not just tell them, that we have troubles just like them. I will be the first. My name is Felicia and I have suffered with depression, feelings of worthlessness and have had thoughts of suicide. But that's NOT who I am!

Father, thank You for Your faithful pursuit of us, Your constant wayward children. My heart cries for those who have to deal with depression as I have. Lord, help Your children who have overcome to be a true beacon of Light for those still in the darkness. Help us not to be disgusted with their appearance and ways but only with the sin that entraps them. "Give us Your eyes so that we can see..-Brandon Heath" In Jesus precious name! Amen!

If you suffer with depression or even think you do, call your doctor immediately. Here is a list of symptoms:

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/depression-signs-and-symptoms.htm

Transparent Image

So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. Genesis 1:27

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 2 Corinthians 5:17

As a young lady, I was always aware of my flaws. I was always looking into windows (makeshift mirrors), in mirrors and any reflection I could find of myself. Although many thought I was looking at perfection, and I didn't correct them, I was really looking at all the many things wrong with me. I was always looking so that I could find a way to correct it. At the age of 21, I believed the lie that I was fat and was always trying to lose weight. In reality, I weighed anywhere between 125-135lbs... soaking wet.  I was a stick, basically a black Twiggy with a butt and I had no idea. No matter the attention, no matter what people said, I was fat. This continued on up until I had my last child, had a mental break and went on an unintentional food fast for two weeks straight. At last! I was thin! I could wear things I had not in years, I could see my figure again, and I didn't feel fat and ugly anymore. But this was an illusion I was all too happy to believe.

Now, ten plus years later and 50lbs heavier than when I was 21, I look back on pictures of myself and think why did I listen to that lie? We, as women, tend to believe certain lies about our image, some lies are negative... and some are positive but they are all lies. What I am finding out about myself and my daughters is that we have to be comfortable in the flesh house God packed us in. Society will force anorexic looking young women down your throat and say this is what men want, this is the only way you will be accepted and we believe it. Department stores will quietly say the same thing by literally dividing the "juniors and misses" department from the "plus size" clothing. It's almost like an alienation of anyone over the size of 12... and even that is pushing it!

Here is the Truth that God wants you to know today. You are "fearfully and wonderfully made" by Him! He didn't make a mistake, He didn't accidentally add too much skin for you to be in and He most certainly does not look at you in disgust because you do not fit the mold of society. It's time for us to break that mold and be who we were meant to be and we can do that by moving past our focus on our outer image. For after all, if the inside is not cared for, it will soon ooze out and damage the shell. How do we do that you ask? How do we move past the insecurities and walk with our head high? I'm glad you asked!

When we surrender our lives to Christ, the Bible says we become NEW creations, the old is dead and new replaces it. That also goes for thoughts, habits and mindsets. Let's look at all three for a second or two with these two scriptures in mind: "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30 and "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own," 1 Corinthians 6:19.

Thoughts, this is the first place attacked to get you distracted from the plans God has for you. If you think you are fat, ugly, not accepted, different, etc., that is what will be because you have accepted those thoughts that are not yours. This is why God's Word says to "take every thought captive" (2 Corinthians 10:5) which means to literally take the thought (not physically of course) tie it up, bring to Jesus and leave it there. You can do this by checking that thought at the door with His Word. If a thought comes that you are not good enough, check it at the door by looking in His Word for something similar. Where does it say, "you are not good enough" at... It does not, but it does say because of Jesus, you are! Look at verses like Isaiah 43:25 and John 3:16.

Habits, this is a hard one to break! Duh! Habits are thoughts that become actions and are formed when done over and over. Will you do something you are used to again after surrender? Of course! But as you dive into His Word, the desire should be dying within you and soon loose you so that you are free to be free! Habits can be what you do, what you wear, what you EAT, what you read, what you listen to and even what you say! What we put into our mouth must be worthy of the One living in us. Eating in moderation, not diets, is how we maintain our healthiness (along with exercise). We are called to keep our temples running right. If we are bogged down with junk food, fast food, and chemicals society is now saying is easier, cheaper and NOW, we cannot live correctly, we are committing a slow suicide (so to speak). Care for your body and it will take care of you! Habits are easy to form and hard to break but we must be conscious of our thoughts which will make us aware of the actions behind habits. Just remember Proverbs 3:5 and Isaiah 55:8 when beginning to face habits that are not like minded with Him. And don't try to break them yourself, the power word for this is SURRENDER. Surrender them to Him, be honest, ask forgiveness and let Him know what you are thinking, doing, eating and saying and that you want to be in line with His Word. He is faithful!

Mindsets, a mindset is another way of thinking but more damaging than thoughts and habits. A mindset is just that, a mind that is set in its ways. The Bible speaks on those who have other mindsets. They are called a "stiff-necked" people. Ouch! If your mindset is out of line with God, you indeed have a stiff neck! But God is a God of the impossible! Even stiff-necked people with their own mindsets can be surrendered and living for Him!

Notice that these three I listed are from within. Our true beauty, our real image starts from within. It doesn't matter if your outfit is "Pinterest worthy" when your heart is not temple worthy.

Father, forgive our ignorance in this area. We are forced to see at some point in our lives those who society wants us to model after. Guide our eyes to YOU, the only One we need to model our actions after and our body will fall into line with Your Word! In Jesus name! Amen!

If you are one who is struggling with self image, here are some links for you. They include healthy eating, godly fashion and even my up and coming forum just for this subject! YOU ARE WORTHY!!! NO MATTER WHAT THE MIRROR OR THE WORLD TELLS YOU, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!And the picture I added shows beauty at its most natural! we are ALL beautiful!!

http://sparkpeople.com/
http://www.girltalkhome.com/
http://www.dove.us/Our-Mission/Girls-Self-Esteem/Vision/default.aspx
https://www.facebook.com/groups/YABgirls/

Nothing But... Transparent Truth

Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12

I have been seeing a picture circulate on Facebook for a couple of weeks now. At first glance, it sounds good. "Dance with God and He'll let the perfect man cut in." I even liked it and I think posted it.... but then I ran across it again this past week and God showed me somethings. He reminded me that He never leaves me nor forsakes me. So if that's true, He is not just going to let someone cut in our dance, He will let them join us. He also showed me that we are all imperfect because of our flesh, because of sin. So if that's the case, there is no way He is going to let the "perfect man" cut in because other than Christ, there is no perfect man. So what is your point, Felicia?

My point is more than breaking down this meme. My point is that we must be careful, we must be mindful, we must be awake, alert and aware of our surroundings in order to not be misled by the "trappings of this world". We, as Christians, cannot accept every "feel good" saying and accept everything as truth but we are told to "test every spirit". This includes those small, innocent pictures and quotes that float around social media and the sayings we are used to.

The more obvious objection of this meme is what it says about marriage. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says that a "cord of three is not quickly broken". Everyone remembers that, and it is used in a lot of wedding ceremonies. But look first at the sentence before that. "...one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him." A couple of people can withstand the enemy and all that he sends to tear up marriages.... Did you see that? A COUPLE... a married couple can withstand.... but a cord of three is NOT quickly broken. What is the third strand? God!! He doesn't dance with us until the "perfect person" comes along.... He knows that we will have dances that we have not practiced, dance steps such as finances, juggling a family and work, communication, adultery, loss, etc. that are harder and need the Third person to lead... and some dance steps such as growth, patience, growing faith, maturing He will just be quietly dancing with us. He doesn't force us to keep Him as lead in our trio, but nevertheless if He is not the lead partner, the enemy is.

God, forgive us for making our weddings, our marriages, our lives about us. Please take the lead as our dance Partner in our lives whether single or married. As women, we trust You to bring the not the perfect person, but the perfect person for us to level out our imperfections. But until, and if then, we trust You as our Dance Partner and are satisfied with You! In Jesus name! Amen!

Transparent Faith II

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

This second post come months after the first one, which I did not intend. But I now see God had many other things for me to go through. This has turned out to be a longer journey through the desert than I could have ever expected, but oh the needs that have been met!

The first Transparent Faith post was back in October, shortly after the death of my uncle and the miraculous way God took us to Tampa and back. It was an immediate need that was met immediately. This go round, the need was immediate but also a longer process. This time it was about losing provision, shelter and even comfort and an old way of life. But I knew... I know that He loves me. I never got that before. I never understood why when I was suffering, people would come in droves saying "God loves you; He wants you to know that." I get it now. 

This process with the eviction was prolonged because I fought it and He allowed it knowing that I was scared. I was scared of change, of the unknown and even what people would think (those who know me know that is so not me). This by far, was one of the two worst things my family of four had been through. But I knew that I knew that I knew that He had us. I cried, I pleaded, I begged, I even denied that it was happening for a while, but there was a stillness, a peace in me that knew that it would and that He had us. 

We are now in the second phase of this current "homeless" journey even though we have a roof (staying with my mom), have all the necessities that most don't when they become homeless. I have no idea where this will take us but I know Who will take us through us. Even as I finish this blog up three months after this happened, the song Whom Shall I Fear by Chris Tomlin is playing on my worship playlist. That is no accident. Neither is any of this. I know that we have one more year here in Omaha and I need to get busy with my assignment here! I know that we will be moving soon, I believe to Ralston (a nearby neighborhood). I know that with the provision that is "dripping" out on us, when it finally pours from His window in heaven, it will be an incredible downpour for all!!

My point of this second part is to say simply hold on. In the midst of the chaos going on around you, your bills, your hurts, your pain, your sickness, your disappointments, your heartbreaks, your transgressions and trials..... hold on to His unchanging hand and He will not lead you astray. He never said we would not go through things, in fact in John 16:33 Jesus tells us we WILL. But even in what we are going through, His promise to never leave or forsake us is still there. Hold on to that, and in the days that you can't seem to grasp it or keep hold to it (I have had those days quite frequently) then hold Him to His word. Remind Him of His promises, yell, scream, and cry, whatever but get in His face. I guarantee and double dog dare you at the same time knowing that you will not leave the same!

Stay tuned for part III of this journey because He is not finished with me or you yet!!

Transparent Defeat

"To defeat the darkness out there, you must defeat the darkness within yourself."- The Oppressor- The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of The DawnTreader

 On yesterday, the 11th of August, 2014, Robin Williams apparently took his own life. He will never have a chance to make another movie. He will never have a chance to hear the Gospel again or walk on the beach or eat his favorite foods. Anything that he ever did on earth, he will never do again on earth. Why? Because his time here is gone. His life, as we know it, has expired. Or had it?

 I first saw Robin Williams on Mork & Mindy; it seems not so long ago. The premiere show was a hit and I stayed tuned until the last show which also broke my heart (okay I'm a crier en it comes to sad shows). The realization that I would never tune in to watch "nanu nanu", hit hard even for a military brat who was used to saying goodbye by that time. So to see the news of his death crushed me. But to know that it might have been because of suicide cuts even closer.

 You see I have had bouts with depression. Even more recent than the last two weeks. I know the closed in feeling that you cannot escape. I know the strangling of air that grabs you all of a sudden and demands you pay attention to defeat, the feeling that brings depression back in when you've conquered it. And although I may not know the personal things, I know what goes on in the minds of those depression has an unwanted relationship with, the darkness that plummets you into an even further black hole until you feel the only way out is through death. I've even tampered with that non changing reality as well.

Depression is a weapon the enemy seems to be winning more and more with. Even among those of us who know the Truth and the hope we have in Jesus. It seems that this is an even bigger truth, that it is even bigger than God when you are in the midst of this darkness. It seems that nothing or no one can pull you out. But that's where we are wrong. That's where I wish someone could tell each person who suffers with depression, each person that contemplates suicide well before they are able to test its guarantee of a way out of the darkness. As cliché as it sounds, Jesus is the ONLY way out. His words in red are loud and clear in the midst of being questioned by one who doubted him. "I AM the Way, the Truth and the Light" (John 14:6). That alone is a proverbial life saver in this very black sea called depression!

I wish that I was a journaler so that I could go back in my journals and explain, even write some of the thoughts that I said, that I cried out during that very dark time when I told my kids I would be back and drove to my mom's house, parked in her driveway and contemplated the best way to bring this to a final end. I wish I could tell you what I texted my kids other than that I loved them and that I was a failure to them and that they would be better off. What I can tell you is what my daughters text me back (my son was in a dark place himself and so did not respond). They told me that they loved me and exactly what God needed them to say.... He threw them as a rope and I grabbed for it. But it doesn't always end that way. Sometimes, like in the case of Robin Williams and the tens of thousands that suffer and succumb to this conquerable disease, it is more than life threatening. Sometimes it's permanent. For anyone reading this, I just want you to know that it doesn't have to be. You aren't better off and neither is your family. No matter how hard and cold and dark and lonely it gets, there is always hope if you reach out for Him. Alone, and even with medicine, it cannot be defeated. But in Him there is hope, and love and grace, and mercy. There is acceptance when you call out His name. No tricks, no hidden agendas, no lifelong toiling. Just. Call. His. Name.

Someone was sailing, actually heading back in as the waters were getting rougher and rougher. The sun was at the cusp of setting and the winds were getting crisp and picking up. Out the corner of his eye, he thought he saw two people in the abusive waters, fighting to stay above the waves. As he turned towards them, hoping his eyes were playing tricks, he confirmed that it was true and immediately went into action. Having only one other life jacket and a small life saver, he yelled out to them to hang on and stop moving as much as possible. To try as hard as they could to remain calm. He saw that they were trying to oblige his commands and the flailing about almost ceased. He was able to reach them and put the life jacket around one and was about to throw the life saver to the other when a monstrous wave threatened to stop him from saving both. The one who was to receive the saver began flailing and screaming again as the boater pulled the first in. His cries fell on deaf ears as the second person bobbed up and down in the waters, even well after the wave proved to be not so threatening. The boater finally jumped in with the saver and almost supernaturally reached the second person. He put the saver around the person and told him that he was going to be okay, just to keep his arms around the saver and he would pull him back to the boat. He turned and began swimming, thankful that the second swimmer had stopped panicking and was easier to pull. What he didn't know was that the man had already given up. Even with the lifesaver around him securely, only having to keep his arms around it, not even embracing, he had already sunk into a dark false truth that he was never going to get out. He had already said his goodbyes in his heart and was ready for death. By the time the boater got to the boat, and turned to pull him in, he noticed that the reason his load had been so light was that the second swimmer had never even put his arms around the lifesaver. He had never grasped onto the truth that he was saved.

This isn't a true story or even something I got out of a book. I just made it up. But how powerful a truth for even us who are in Christ. Even we can get entrapped by the lies of depression. Ours can be a little more dangerous as we will not seek help for fear of the stigma of being a weak Christian and the judgment that comes with it. That alone stifles out voice, not the enemy, but our agreement with him to never speak out transparently about things that make us seem weak. Guess what? We ARE weak! Paul said, ".... for when I am weak then I am strong." (2 Cor 12:10) How else can we reach the masses, how else can we go out into His fields with the harvest being ready, how else can make disciples of all nations unless we first "defeat the darkness within"? How many of our brothers and sister, leaders have to die before we say enough and stand in our conquering of death?

God, oh how I thank You for saving me. Not only through Your precious Son's sacrifice on the Cross for my sins but also each day that I walk into a dark place or become angry or am in need. You are indeed faithful, even when I am not, strongest when I am at my weakest. God, I pray for those who have been in that same dark narrow alley called depression. Your Word says, "even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..." I pray that You would remind Your children, who can then remind or let those who don't know You know that they do not have to fear any evil. That You would remind us daily that even though we will have trials and heartbreak and disappointments and sicknesses and loss that You are with us. Your rod and Your staff that guide us. God remind us that You are our hope. My prayer is that suicide will begin to starve and eventually die away because no one will feed it's ever greedy fascination and hunger to have one more.... Pour out Your love... the love that saves and covers a multitude of sin. In Jesus name. Amen!

 

I want to leave with this Scripture, my daughter's life verse: "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!" (John 16:33)

DISCLAIMER: If you are dealing with depression right now, God's Word is a great Source of help! I know it; it's what has kept me each time depression and suicide come back for more. Know that if there is depression, suicide is not far behind. And if you are not a believer or just can't seem to pray, know that I am praying for you and Jesus is interceding always on your behalf. Get help! If you are contemplating suicide and are in danger of following through, call 911! If you are depressed or have suicidal thoughts not yet manifested, call the following:

http://brokenbelievers.com/247-crisis-lines/

1-800-273-TALK (8255) or TTY 1-800-799-4TTY (4889) (for suicide)

1-888-NEEDHIM

Biblical help for youth in crisis 1-800-HIT-HOME

Rapha National Network 1-800-383-HOPE

Prayer and General Counseling www.prayerandhope.org, 1-866-599-2264

There is no pressure to know Jesus. They just want to give you the help that you need. Hold. On.

Transparent Death of Self

So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. Romans 6:11

A church podcast that I frequently listento and gather information from, Elevation Church, has a series called Death To Selfie. A powerful look at the only twins I know of who are completely opposite and are rivals, each one having the love of a parent, not both. Esau and Jacob come out of the womb competing and at the end of this second sermon, Pastor Steve Furtick is in the kitchen with them as Esau freely gives his inheritance away for a simple and temporary bowl of "red stew". The climax of his lesson takes such a sharp turn that if your seatbelt is not on, you will fall off your seat! He goes from the twin brothers who, although they reconcile in the end, Esau can never get his inheritance back from Jacob (one fact that I picked up is this is about grace and being blessed regardless of your carnal greed for instant gratification) to the eternal reconciliatin that Christ Jesus gave us at the Cross!! Amazing!!

The reason I started with that is to show the difference of being alive to sin and dead to sin. Esau, being well aware of his hunger after a possibly long and ardous hunt, could not think further than where he was at at the moment... hungry (Gen 25:30). He was alive to right now and dead to eternity. How harsh a realization that is for me when I think of the many times, as a Christ follower, I have chosen to be alive to my sins because they felt better or looked better or sounded better or tasted better. Words I cannot take back, actions I cannot remove, feelings that poison my heart and thinking are freely chosen instead of allowing God to deal with things.

What are you dead to, sin or God....

Transparent Growth In Action

And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.  And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles.  And all who believed were together and had all things in common.  And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need.  And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved. Acts 2:42-47

It's very rare that I get on a soapbox unless it has to deal with me or my issues. This is one of those times when I must extend that scepter to the Body again.... 

We as the Body of Christ have been off course. We have been distracted and duped into believing certain things matter when they actually don't and so the alarm must be sounded. Let me explain.

On Sunday after a frustrating morning, I was able to push through and worship at church and hear from God on some personal things, to which I'm sure I will blog about later. When I got home, while looking through emails, one caught my eye but I didn't read it. The subject line was about Jesus not commanding us to make churches full... or something like that. I instantly wondered why we are so bent on churches growing, sometimes into these mega, super packed, never personal followings. That's when God "got in my window" and schooled me on some things. First and foremost, He let me know how out of line and off course we are. He directed me to Acts 2 where the first gathering (church) was formed and how fast they grew, not because of all of the posters, commercials, "be a bringer" messages, coaxing members to get out there and find people or any other fantastic way to get people to join "our church" instead of the next pastor's church. No, they grew because they did Kingdom work... they were about their Father's business. They sold possessions, something we as believers today do not believe in (maybe we feel our items are more priceless than PURE gold decanters or SOLID silver plates, etc). They distributed among ALL (this includes those around them but maybe not in their actually "congregation"), they ate together, worshiped together and because of THIS, they had the favor with ALL people... and because of this, the Lord added to them. 

How simple it is and how easy we have moved away from this simple task which is also a Scripture itself! Matthew 6:33 states to seek first the Kingdom of God and ALL its righteousness AND as a promise, He will add all else to us... the all else? That's in the passages above verse 33 if you wanna know what's included! And then to boot, He reminds us NOT to worry about tomorrow because that is a whole other day! Focus on Him for THIS DAY... hmmm.... isn't that in a prayer that Jesus taught us to pray? "Give us THIS DAY our DAILY bread"???? 

Let's get back to focus and do the will of our Father as HE states it. Not as we declare it, explain it, water it down, or interpret it. 

Father, we repent as your children for what we have fashioned after our own desires and lusts instead of what You have for us. We have allowed ourselves to be conformed to the trappings of this world and claimed to be renewed all at the same time. We bring this disease of self to you God and ask you to forgive our sin of forgetting Your Kingdom and all its righteousness. We repent of making our church services into something that glorifies us more so than You and does our egos good more than Your Kingdom. Your Word says that if we Your people, who are called by Your name,would humble ourselves and pray, and seek Your face, and turn from our wickedways only then will You hear from heaven and forgive our sin and heal our land. I speak to every dry bone in Your family who lays defeated in the valley to arise and live. We will humble ourselves Lord, we will pray and seek Your face, and we will turn from our wicked, worldly ways and will wait for Your promise to hear our cry, forgive our sin and heal our land. Thank You God for Your faithfulness and lovingkindness while Your children run amuck in this dark world! Thank You for meeting us in the road with arms wide open as we realize we need You and come back to You after our journeys in this place! In Jesus name! Amen!