Transparent Strength

We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Romans 15:1

My goodness, does this verse ask so much!! I mean seriously! That's like asking a toddler to perform open heart surgery! Or.... is it? 

Could it be that we make this out to be more than it is? I mean, when we have a weakness, we want people to bear with us. We say things like "please be patient with me, GOD is not through with me yet" which is also a song, or we plaster bumper stickers on our car that say "Under Construction." And that's okay because God is NOT done with us until we get Home! But we tend to be what I recently heard described as "me centered," and forget that others need this same grace from us.

I tend to have this "me centeredness" when it comes to family, mostly, but everyone at some point. My mom and kids tend to be unknowing targets at times. I can be very apt to want them to show grace if I'm late or forget something but then get angry when the same happens with them.

Most recently, my mom and I were going through a rough patch and I had forgotten to do something for her that was important. I reluctantly told her and braced myself for the backlash because this was really important to her. I wanted her to show me grace, however when I told her and she blew up at me, I didn't show the same grace. You see, I am one of those people that don’t like things to be repeated. I don’t know why, but I can't stand that! And this particular day, among other things that were happening, my mom wanting to go over what I had forgotten, just was not in my fave list. Simply put, I did not want to be reminded of my "failings". And so I in turn blew up at her. I'm so thankful that GOD does not keep account of our failings and bears with us. Aren't you? 

Think about the rude store clerk, customer service person, your child's teacher or church family member that rubs you the wrong way. This verse is for them as much as it's for you. Remember that we are bearing with those who are weak, those who go back to the drug or the abuser or the crutch that we minster to them about; not to please us but to help them. 

LORD, thank You that You forgive my selfish rants, my self-centered ways that block the view of people the way You see them. Help me to remember today that my view is not the same and to look at everyone from Your eyes. Amen!

Transparent Pressure

"We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair;

persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed—" 2 Cor 4:8-9 This week has been a doozy! I have been in some form of spiritual attack for a while but March 1st seemed to have intensified and magnified each feat the enemy brings my way.  This last one, I thought might crush me because it involved two of my children at the same time! Anyone that knows me knows that is a way to get to me, a "weak spot" of sorts with me.  Last summer, GOD led my oldest through a trial through her job that tested her and showed her some areas of concern such as fear of man and harboring anger. As much as I wanted to step in, I knew that I could not. While I guided her as much as I was allowed, it was not my fight but that didn't stop me from being angry at all involved.  This time around, it's my middle and youngest being attacked and that same anger and helplessness has bubbled back up to the surface. I know that this trial is not just for them but for me as well as this is bringing up muck in me that GOD simply cannot use and wants to file away in the File 13 far away from my, and their, hearts. This verse is and will be instrumental in this victory of ours.  My son has the desire to be a teacher/ track coach/ youth minister. That is not a desire manufactured by him or his surroundings but given him by GOD. His life, on the other hand has not really afforded what one would call or see as an exemplary life that would lead to such a high calling. Thank GOD there is no man on earth who is GOD! My son has had his prodigal son moment and still has some residue being removed but has been given a new robe by GOD. During his prodigal walk, he had isolated himself, had compromised and is a father in waiting. For man, this is looked at as unacceptable for his calling and some would have him not only reminded constantly by man made consequences but also deter him to another calling that is not as high up. In this instance, is leadership in the place where he has chosen to help out with track. Through others eyes and words, he has been deemed unfit to help coach without even so much of a personal conversation, just judgment. He was "hard pressed" but not crushed and I reminded him of that. Although leadership did not take the biblical stance when having something against a person who has sinned, my son will be. Am I angry, yes. I trusted this person and because they are Christian I held them to a higher standard and forgot (just as he has done with my son) that we all fall short. Stamp this one as lesson learned.  My daughters attack has been on her health. She had what we thought was back pain, mom-diagnosed as sciatica but not because of physical strain but a spiritual attack. This entire weekend has been a tiring strain for both of is as she struggled to get comfortable and even pleaded that she only desired to sleep. Yesterday I found out differently. She had an incredibly large boil that had manufactured, it seemed, out of nowhere on her backside. I felt that anger rising up again but this time was ready! I had already that morning been in communion with GOD and renounced the spiritual root and was ready for battle. I had no idea it would be so intense. The day started with me leading her in prayer to renounce the same and to be released of the harness of burdens she was not to carry (she is a burden bearer) and she had a good day! And then we started home. An obnoxious smell (anyone with knowledge of a boil knows) filled the car and we went in search of it relentlessly but it wasn't until my daughter got out and we saw a wet stain, did she search herself. I hope somebody got that. A spiritual boil is just as painful as a real one. To get rid of it can be even more painful as pressure needs to be applied after a cut (double edged sword) is made. There is an offense (smell) and it will need to be searched out if you are unaware of the source of your pain.  Well we found the source was this boil. I was instructed to send her to ER and more rose up in me. I hate ER, I hate germs and I hate being around sick people that don't take care to block others from their germs (I'm being honest). But I had to get over all this to get my daughter the help needed. What a battle this was in my head! I won't go into details of the pain and agony my child was in as they got rid of this thing as I sat with her helpless to end her pain and crying. No, I wasn't helpless. I could have stopped them. I could have said never mind or no more. But I knew this was for the greater good. Isn't that how GOD is with us? Isn't that how He was with Christ? He doesn't sit idly by wringing His hands. He is with us, comforting us, encouraging us, never leaving or forgetting about us. One thing my daughter kept asking was "where's nana?" I wondered why she didn't ask where I was but then it dawned on me. She KNEW I was there! She knew I wasn't leaving! THAT'S how GOD wants us to be! He wants us to be that confident through our trials. He reminds us of this much like I reminded my daughter in her morphine induced state of what her favorite (life) verse is... and she still knew it! John 16:33.... Which reminds us that we WILL go through things, that we can be sure of. But we can also be sure that Jesus has overcome this world and that GOD will NEVER leave us!  My daughter is still working at her job and has overcome the challenges of hiding from those who seem to be after her. My son is no worse for the ware and will nevertheless teach, coach and spread the GOOD News that Jesus can use and call anyone no matter how rugged their paths have been. My youngest daughter is coming down from the morphine high, still in pain but getting back to herself. Me? I have learned that I can't save my kids all the time, I have hidden anger and offense and that healing is not always easy. Sometimes it comes from pain.

Transparent Letter

"For if in anything I have boasted to him about you, I am not ashamed. But as we spoke all things to you in truth, even so our boasting to Titus was found true." 2 Cor 7:14

I was led to this hidden nugget earlier this morning in my morning devotional and had to write and share. I have to admit, when I first read it I asked GOD what it was supposed to mean to me. He then had me read two verses previous and the one following and that's when I understood. 

Paul had written this letter to Corinth in response to their treatment and hospitality to Titus. *Sidenote*: We really should study more about Corinth!! They welcomed him with open arms and so every boast (rejoice) made about Corinth was proven true. Titus was well cared for and loved even up to his departure. Isn't that how a church is supposed to be? Full of the grace and mercy that was so undeservedly extended to us? Welcoming those that enter in our "city" because they are sent or allowed by our Father? *Okay, another side note* Do you realize that if all churches who bear His name and seek after His will would love and provide for guests in this way, even those sent with ill will by their father, Satan, would be drenched in His love causing them to surrender to Him or flee?! 

Too many times in the church building we are more involved in and worried about keeping OUR bylaws and making sure everyone who enters knows and abides by them as well MORE than keeping His command to love our neighbor and each other. What a sad situation we have put ourselves in. We are nowhere near hated for Jesus' namesake. That would mean we love everyone while accepting them as they are but hating the sin. THAT would mean we would be speaking His Truth in totality, not watering down to satisfy everyone's uncomfortableness with What His Word says. And THAT would mean while we have our own stand on certain things and choose to stand against "freedoms" that lead to eternal bondage for our family in Christ, we wouldn't presuppose this on those who have no idea of His goodness, love or sacrifice that was also for them. 

What if.... we led our worship, our church service in such a way that even when someone in a particular sin walked in and heard the Truth spoken about that sin, they either cried out and surrendered to GOD or got up and walked away? What if there were no requirements of "minimum" tithe and offering amounts or judgmental stares at a person not in what we assume is the "Sunday best"? What if at the door they were so loved and well cared for that we received a letter from GOD stating a job well done, that His boast in us was found true? 

That is essentially what this verse says to me, practically speaking. We have gotten away from caring for each other and guests that visit. He is calling us to go back to the simpler times and listen to His guidance on dealing with guests who visit us. Our pastors should not have to prompt us to greet an smile. It should not be awkward to take a collection up for a needy family in our midst, whether attendees of our church or not instead of trying to "help them help themselves". No! That's what this Christian community is supposed to be about! None of us should be in lack for so long that we give up or look to this lost world for help. We need to get back to it. 

If GOD wrote us a letter about someone He sent to us, unbeknownst to us, what would our letters say? 

Father, thank You for forgiving our repetitive sins and disobedience. We have been distracted with whose church is best and whose theology makes more sense and which laws someone isn't following. We have forgotten the simpler things, to love and care for. We are so worried about how outrageous someone looks, acts or dresses when they come in "our" church that we forgot that this is Your hospital and we Your Body are to aid in healing.  Help us to get back to worship and work. In Jesus name. Amen!

Transparent Marriage

"For your Maker is your husband....." Isaiah 54:5  I'm gonna be brutally honest and transparent (after all, that is the name of the blog). I long for a husband. I desire to be married, to have a life partner of physical form doing battle with and for me. I long for a husband who could have shown my daughters what true love from a man looks like and my son how to be that man. I long for late night talks, daily plans of splitting who will go to who's activity or even just someone to hold me while I vent, stew or cry. And I want to be able to do that for someone. I want the many battles marriage brings and the seemingly endless attacks that draw the attention from the enemy of our souls and his battalion. The very foul essence that seems to be breaking up families right now and has forged war on marriage created by GOD, I want....  Yes I'm sure you think I'm crazy. I'm sure those who are married, separated or wishing they could get out of their marriage right now are saying, "Are you crazy?! Stay single! You have no idea how hard it is!" Well, as a lost person I was married. And it was hell! And I know now that I would never step out of His will to comfort my flesh! Yes, back then, in my lost state, I would have agreed. In fact I did. But now that I am redeemed, let me tell you what I know as an unmarried mother of three.  I know that no battle is too hard for my GOD. I know that the end is better than the beginning. I know that while money, kids and communication (or lack of it) may seem to wearing you down in your marriage, He is standing near to lift you up and strengthen you. I know that every good and perfect gift is from our first Husband. I know that the journey is hard and long and sometimes full of dry patches but I also know that if you journey with your husband and GOD, it will not be worthless. Ask any older couple was it worth it. Not those who are bitter and angry, but those who have overcome the bitterness, trials, anger, hurt, betrayal, disappointment, etc. and I also know that you have the opportunity to have a "cord of three" but do you know that? Did you forget or did your marriage happen or become about you and what's done to or not done for you? One of the most important and most ignored aspects of marriage that I know is how it shapes, grows and can even kill (yes kill) your child(ren). A good marriage (not the façade of one) will grow great relationships with and for the children. A struggling one that endures will even show kids how to hang on, keep going as long as battles are healthy. But a marriage that quits? It only shows a child how to quit. Prayerfully in time and/ or with discernment the child will decide to be better, to do better, to never ever give up (as a young cancer patient who started Joy Jars showed me shortly before she closed her eyes on this side). But it will prove to be harder, more fight than necessary and draining to say the least. I know that on both sides, as a child of divorce ad a parent whose children had to be drug through one.  So no, I don't know your story. I don't know what you've been through. I don't condone abuse and know that GOD does not like the mistreatment of His daughters. That's something totally different. And even though I don't know why you aren't "happy" or why you are contemplating or going through a divorce, He knows. And I know Him and I know that He loves you and longs for an intimate relationship with you. Look at your husband the way GOD does. See through his flaws and love through his multitude of sins (even leaving the seat up). And for you single ladies reading, love the LORD your GOD with all you heart and all your strength and all your mind and all your soul. What I just realized is in all my wanting a husband, I need to learn to love the Husband who redeemed me first. I need to focus on Him and the fact that He never fails first before preparing for a man who will most assuredly disappoint me.  So, while I still desire to be married, I rejoice in the only marriage truly made in Heaven, I invite you to as well! This entire chapter of Isaiah, 54, speaks to the weary. It just spoke to me as a "single" woman and mom. Let it speak to you as single and married folk! Let Him be your Husband, your Lord, your Kinsmen Redeemer. Only then will the mortal, fleshy man He gave to you temporarily be lifted and loved in the way he was designed to be.  GOD, forgive me for searching for love everywhere but in Your face. Thank You for being my Redeemer and my Friend, my Love and my Lord! Sustain me GOD and help me to be content and satisfied in You until (if) You send a companion to find me. And if not, You are more than enough!

Transparent Reason

But the centurion paid more attention to the pilot and to the owner of the ship than to what Paul said. Acts 27:11

Have you ever had someone who seemingly had no children or degree try and tell you what to do with yours? What about how to do your job? What about someone giving directions that seem to make no sense at all? I told a story a while back about an encounter with my phones GPS that seemed to want me to be further lost but when I finally have into its constant ranting about  turning around, it took me straight where I needed to go. My dumbphone actually knew more than I did!

I get the sense this is what happened with the centurion. Look back a couple of verses and you will see that he admittedly knew Paul had favor. He may not have known just what that was or how Paul got it, but his job had become to protect Paul and see to his advancement because of it (v3). Now there came a time when they had to go on with their journey but Paul warned those in charge of what would happen. This is when things went south for the winter (pun intended). I mean come on! Who would turn to someone who had never set sail before but had merely been a passenger over the captain of the ship, no matter how unsaved, hardheaded and plain dumb that captain might have been? Wouldn't you? I mean we listen to ourselves, our friends and family when we feel a tug on our hearts from GOD. We heed the words of someone who does not know us when they deliver a harsh word... or glance for that matter. Isn't that the same thing?

The centurion thought that he was making the right choice. He thought that going to the expert of the ship would be the best thing to do. Just like we do when a nudging or direction that comes from GOD doesn't seem to make sense. 

Lets make a conscience effort to NOT go to the experts but turn to the Creator of the experts when He gives us an assignment to do or an itinerary of where to go. It just may save some cargo, the ship and lives in our path... including our own. 

LORD, help us to not only hear You but to ADHERE to Your Word and obey. In Jesus name. Amen!

Seeing is not believing

Jesus said to her, "Did I not say to you that if you would believe you would see the glory of God?" John 11:40 Then He said to Thomas, "Reach your finger here, and look at My hands; and reach your hand here, and put it into My side. Do not be unbelieving, but believing." John 20:27 ***Greetings to all reading from the Commenthon! Welcome to my transparent world! Feel free to read others and if so moved subscribe to hear more transparent thoughts! My writings are not every day or even every week but they are from the heart and as He leads so I pray they will help someone else as well!*** ...::::::UPDATE::::... ****We have not only remained in the house but our rent is paid and cut almost in half!! Praising the Father before the storm was over was key!! I would have never made in my small boat of faith without Him!!***** This old antage of "seeing is believing" is quite the mistake! I have "seen" a lot of things unfold and yet still take a turn and something totally different come out of it. Take for example the caterpillar. It starts out grubby, some smaller than others, some hairier or fuzzier. But nevertheless, you never imagine that a caterpillar can fit into the tiny cocoons they do, not to ignore if you figure that the beautifully and enormously winged butterflies would come out of that very same cocoon! But they do! And what about ants? Somebody please tell me you imagined they could pick up a carcass by themselves triple their size and even when you saw it you were not amazed! Of course you can't say that! Because you were! Seeing is not believing! Today has been a rough day for me. I tossed and fought back doubt with everything I had and yet the prayers that were lifted for my family and by my family still seemed to fall on deaf ears. It seems that our prayers are for naught. But are they? I realized I'm still focusing on seeing the miracle more than believing in GOD for it! The first Scripture struck me hard. To be Martha at that very moment.... How bloodshot and flushed her face must have been! Jesus had just told her that she would see God's glory yet when He went about performing the miracle, she doubted. Notably so, as her brother's body would have smelled but she missed what was said to her in her grief. "But when Jesus heard it he said, 'This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it.'" John 11:4. Did you catch it? I didn't until a few moments ago. I've read it before and because the real focus in this chapter is the raising of Lazurus, I've never caught this morsel before! It does remind me of the peace the Disciples were given right before they were caught in an angry storming sea. Remember that? Of course, everyone does. But who remembers what Jesus said before the storm?  "Let us go across to the other side." (v 35). Again, did you catch that?? He was letting them know whatever they were about to go through, they would get through it TO THE OTHER SIDE!!! That just sent chills down my spine typing it!!  I don't know what you are going through, where your faith is or how it's gonna turn out for you, but I can tell you about me. I can tell you that my faith is at an all time low right now. I needed $744 today for rent to stop a previous eviction and it didn't come, at least not to my knowledge. I got a call from my landlord's office saying I could come in first thing in the morning to pay. That's grace and I'm thankful for it. I don't know what that means or how the money will come but He has already told me through Jeremiah 42:10-16 that I would remain. It's shaky right now, I'm angry and really don't wanna hear to many more "I'm praying for you's" but I'm so thankful for those He has sent my way! I am going to the other side and I only have to hold on until we get there, stormy waters or not. And the same is said of you. Hold on to His Word. If He could sleep peacefully with all that was going on then, then so can I. And if our GOD, Who said He will supply our EVERY need, told us to go to the other side, then we will make it there. GOD, you know our restless hearts. You know our situations. You know that doubt and unbelief are pining for our attention. Thank You for being our Rock, thank You for being that example we need when the waters turn against us. LORD, tonight as we sleep as peaceful as You did under the ship, instead of calming the sea, would you do a miracle for us. Many of us need healing or financial blessings or just... peace. Thank You for being that Provider that never fails. In Jesus name. Amen! Tonight, meditate on  and pray Psalm 5 for our situations. You pray for mine and I will pray for yours. You can leave me a message and know that I will lift you up. Oh, and the second verse? That was simply the way GOD chose to tell me, and you, to stop doubting. Blessings, and good rest tonight.

Who's in Arms For Your Pastor?

But Moses' hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. Exodus 17:12

Pastor Teddy Parker, Jr. is a name most of the Christian community must now know. He made headlines after he shot himself while his wife, children and congregation waited for him to preach. Once it was known, I'm positive the spirit of gossip was loosed not only in his church but throughout every faith community as well as the unbelieving communities. This was not just a loss to his family or his church. This was a loss for all who are called to walk alongside their brothers and sisters in faith. Rumors were able to sprout up because no one wanted to say, "it's our fault. We should have done better as his brothers and sisters of lifting his arms." Is even said that just a few weeks prior, he helped another man who bent on committing suicide. My belief? That spirit of suicide was transferred unbeknownst to either man. That thought and my weekly prayers for pastors led me to write this challenge for all who attend church and claim a belief in GOD. 

In my prayers today, I prayed for courage and boldness in speaking GOD's in changing word. I also prayed for their call to be genuine, not manufactured and for their wives and children who undoubtedly walk the same path behind their pastor/ husband/ father. It's not only the pastors that endure that group of people who ALWAYS have a chiding word about something the pastor touched in that they wish to remain in the dark or to let him know the tickling of their ear was not as pleasant as other times. I think of Pastor Paul Sheppard who made it pebble level when he said "to have a word in season and out of season" refers to a word that may not be well liked but needed at the time. Or the women, single or not, who trow themselves at them, I think you get my drift. 

My question is, where are the arm lifters? Where are the ones who are supposed to be lifting them when all this is going on? These two men had to have seen Moses at his worst! He was tired, he was worn, he was, I'm sure, about ready to give up and his words made that fact known. We don't know what he said during this time but he was human, just as pastors are today. I don't care how much his faith was! If he had the anger to throw down HISTORIC tablets and proof of GOD's Word down or disobey, he was crying out in agony then. Aaron and Hur not only had to lift his arms, but his spirits as well! They had to encourage him, let him know they had him and he was not alone in this! Where are our "arm bearers" for our pastors today?? Are you called to be a passionate intercessor for your pastor? Trust me, not everyone is. But if you are called, you had better lock arms with him and get him through his rough times so that there will be times of victory as well! 

This pastor who sat alone in his car long enough to hear the spirit of suicide tell him to give up had someone assigned to intercede for him. Not just his wife. But an Aaron or Hur or both! And when he talked the man out of committing suicide, that should have been a time of intercessory for him!! This pastoral battle is not for the weak and fainthearted. But it is not meant to be walked alone either. Blessings....

LORD, thank You for placing on my heart a day to pray for pastors. Forgive me for not being as consistent as I should be but thank You for the grace that covers them when I don't. I pray that You awaken those who are called to be "arm bearers" and charge them to stand by their pastors side in battle as well as for their wives and children. In Jesus name! Amen!!