Nothing But... Transparent Truth

Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12

I have been seeing a picture circulate on Facebook for a couple of weeks now. At first glance, it sounds good. "Dance with God and He'll let the perfect man cut in." I even liked it and I think posted it.... but then I ran across it again this past week and God showed me somethings. He reminded me that He never leaves me nor forsakes me. So if that's true, He is not just going to let someone cut in our dance, He will let them join us. He also showed me that we are all imperfect because of our flesh, because of sin. So if that's the case, there is no way He is going to let the "perfect man" cut in because other than Christ, there is no perfect man. So what is your point, Felicia?

My point is more than breaking down this meme. My point is that we must be careful, we must be mindful, we must be awake, alert and aware of our surroundings in order to not be misled by the "trappings of this world". We, as Christians, cannot accept every "feel good" saying and accept everything as truth but we are told to "test every spirit". This includes those small, innocent pictures and quotes that float around social media and the sayings we are used to.

The more obvious objection of this meme is what it says about marriage. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says that a "cord of three is not quickly broken". Everyone remembers that, and it is used in a lot of wedding ceremonies. But look first at the sentence before that. "...one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him." A couple of people can withstand the enemy and all that he sends to tear up marriages.... Did you see that? A COUPLE... a married couple can withstand.... but a cord of three is NOT quickly broken. What is the third strand? God!! He doesn't dance with us until the "perfect person" comes along.... He knows that we will have dances that we have not practiced, dance steps such as finances, juggling a family and work, communication, adultery, loss, etc. that are harder and need the Third person to lead... and some dance steps such as growth, patience, growing faith, maturing He will just be quietly dancing with us. He doesn't force us to keep Him as lead in our trio, but nevertheless if He is not the lead partner, the enemy is.

God, forgive us for making our weddings, our marriages, our lives about us. Please take the lead as our dance Partner in our lives whether single or married. As women, we trust You to bring the not the perfect person, but the perfect person for us to level out our imperfections. But until, and if then, we trust You as our Dance Partner and are satisfied with You! In Jesus name! Amen!

Transparent Faith II

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

This second post come months after the first one, which I did not intend. But I now see God had many other things for me to go through. This has turned out to be a longer journey through the desert than I could have ever expected, but oh the needs that have been met!

The first Transparent Faith post was back in October, shortly after the death of my uncle and the miraculous way God took us to Tampa and back. It was an immediate need that was met immediately. This go round, the need was immediate but also a longer process. This time it was about losing provision, shelter and even comfort and an old way of life. But I knew... I know that He loves me. I never got that before. I never understood why when I was suffering, people would come in droves saying "God loves you; He wants you to know that." I get it now. 

This process with the eviction was prolonged because I fought it and He allowed it knowing that I was scared. I was scared of change, of the unknown and even what people would think (those who know me know that is so not me). This by far, was one of the two worst things my family of four had been through. But I knew that I knew that I knew that He had us. I cried, I pleaded, I begged, I even denied that it was happening for a while, but there was a stillness, a peace in me that knew that it would and that He had us. 

We are now in the second phase of this current "homeless" journey even though we have a roof (staying with my mom), have all the necessities that most don't when they become homeless. I have no idea where this will take us but I know Who will take us through us. Even as I finish this blog up three months after this happened, the song Whom Shall I Fear by Chris Tomlin is playing on my worship playlist. That is no accident. Neither is any of this. I know that we have one more year here in Omaha and I need to get busy with my assignment here! I know that we will be moving soon, I believe to Ralston (a nearby neighborhood). I know that with the provision that is "dripping" out on us, when it finally pours from His window in heaven, it will be an incredible downpour for all!!

My point of this second part is to say simply hold on. In the midst of the chaos going on around you, your bills, your hurts, your pain, your sickness, your disappointments, your heartbreaks, your transgressions and trials..... hold on to His unchanging hand and He will not lead you astray. He never said we would not go through things, in fact in John 16:33 Jesus tells us we WILL. But even in what we are going through, His promise to never leave or forsake us is still there. Hold on to that, and in the days that you can't seem to grasp it or keep hold to it (I have had those days quite frequently) then hold Him to His word. Remind Him of His promises, yell, scream, and cry, whatever but get in His face. I guarantee and double dog dare you at the same time knowing that you will not leave the same!

Stay tuned for part III of this journey because He is not finished with me or you yet!!

Transparent Defeat

"To defeat the darkness out there, you must defeat the darkness within yourself."- The Oppressor- The Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of The DawnTreader

 On yesterday, the 11th of August, 2014, Robin Williams apparently took his own life. He will never have a chance to make another movie. He will never have a chance to hear the Gospel again or walk on the beach or eat his favorite foods. Anything that he ever did on earth, he will never do again on earth. Why? Because his time here is gone. His life, as we know it, has expired. Or had it?

 I first saw Robin Williams on Mork & Mindy; it seems not so long ago. The premiere show was a hit and I stayed tuned until the last show which also broke my heart (okay I'm a crier en it comes to sad shows). The realization that I would never tune in to watch "nanu nanu", hit hard even for a military brat who was used to saying goodbye by that time. So to see the news of his death crushed me. But to know that it might have been because of suicide cuts even closer.

 You see I have had bouts with depression. Even more recent than the last two weeks. I know the closed in feeling that you cannot escape. I know the strangling of air that grabs you all of a sudden and demands you pay attention to defeat, the feeling that brings depression back in when you've conquered it. And although I may not know the personal things, I know what goes on in the minds of those depression has an unwanted relationship with, the darkness that plummets you into an even further black hole until you feel the only way out is through death. I've even tampered with that non changing reality as well.

Depression is a weapon the enemy seems to be winning more and more with. Even among those of us who know the Truth and the hope we have in Jesus. It seems that this is an even bigger truth, that it is even bigger than God when you are in the midst of this darkness. It seems that nothing or no one can pull you out. But that's where we are wrong. That's where I wish someone could tell each person who suffers with depression, each person that contemplates suicide well before they are able to test its guarantee of a way out of the darkness. As cliché as it sounds, Jesus is the ONLY way out. His words in red are loud and clear in the midst of being questioned by one who doubted him. "I AM the Way, the Truth and the Light" (John 14:6). That alone is a proverbial life saver in this very black sea called depression!

I wish that I was a journaler so that I could go back in my journals and explain, even write some of the thoughts that I said, that I cried out during that very dark time when I told my kids I would be back and drove to my mom's house, parked in her driveway and contemplated the best way to bring this to a final end. I wish I could tell you what I texted my kids other than that I loved them and that I was a failure to them and that they would be better off. What I can tell you is what my daughters text me back (my son was in a dark place himself and so did not respond). They told me that they loved me and exactly what God needed them to say.... He threw them as a rope and I grabbed for it. But it doesn't always end that way. Sometimes, like in the case of Robin Williams and the tens of thousands that suffer and succumb to this conquerable disease, it is more than life threatening. Sometimes it's permanent. For anyone reading this, I just want you to know that it doesn't have to be. You aren't better off and neither is your family. No matter how hard and cold and dark and lonely it gets, there is always hope if you reach out for Him. Alone, and even with medicine, it cannot be defeated. But in Him there is hope, and love and grace, and mercy. There is acceptance when you call out His name. No tricks, no hidden agendas, no lifelong toiling. Just. Call. His. Name.

Someone was sailing, actually heading back in as the waters were getting rougher and rougher. The sun was at the cusp of setting and the winds were getting crisp and picking up. Out the corner of his eye, he thought he saw two people in the abusive waters, fighting to stay above the waves. As he turned towards them, hoping his eyes were playing tricks, he confirmed that it was true and immediately went into action. Having only one other life jacket and a small life saver, he yelled out to them to hang on and stop moving as much as possible. To try as hard as they could to remain calm. He saw that they were trying to oblige his commands and the flailing about almost ceased. He was able to reach them and put the life jacket around one and was about to throw the life saver to the other when a monstrous wave threatened to stop him from saving both. The one who was to receive the saver began flailing and screaming again as the boater pulled the first in. His cries fell on deaf ears as the second person bobbed up and down in the waters, even well after the wave proved to be not so threatening. The boater finally jumped in with the saver and almost supernaturally reached the second person. He put the saver around the person and told him that he was going to be okay, just to keep his arms around the saver and he would pull him back to the boat. He turned and began swimming, thankful that the second swimmer had stopped panicking and was easier to pull. What he didn't know was that the man had already given up. Even with the lifesaver around him securely, only having to keep his arms around it, not even embracing, he had already sunk into a dark false truth that he was never going to get out. He had already said his goodbyes in his heart and was ready for death. By the time the boater got to the boat, and turned to pull him in, he noticed that the reason his load had been so light was that the second swimmer had never even put his arms around the lifesaver. He had never grasped onto the truth that he was saved.

This isn't a true story or even something I got out of a book. I just made it up. But how powerful a truth for even us who are in Christ. Even we can get entrapped by the lies of depression. Ours can be a little more dangerous as we will not seek help for fear of the stigma of being a weak Christian and the judgment that comes with it. That alone stifles out voice, not the enemy, but our agreement with him to never speak out transparently about things that make us seem weak. Guess what? We ARE weak! Paul said, ".... for when I am weak then I am strong." (2 Cor 12:10) How else can we reach the masses, how else can we go out into His fields with the harvest being ready, how else can make disciples of all nations unless we first "defeat the darkness within"? How many of our brothers and sister, leaders have to die before we say enough and stand in our conquering of death?

God, oh how I thank You for saving me. Not only through Your precious Son's sacrifice on the Cross for my sins but also each day that I walk into a dark place or become angry or am in need. You are indeed faithful, even when I am not, strongest when I am at my weakest. God, I pray for those who have been in that same dark narrow alley called depression. Your Word says, "even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..." I pray that You would remind Your children, who can then remind or let those who don't know You know that they do not have to fear any evil. That You would remind us daily that even though we will have trials and heartbreak and disappointments and sicknesses and loss that You are with us. Your rod and Your staff that guide us. God remind us that You are our hope. My prayer is that suicide will begin to starve and eventually die away because no one will feed it's ever greedy fascination and hunger to have one more.... Pour out Your love... the love that saves and covers a multitude of sin. In Jesus name. Amen!

 

I want to leave with this Scripture, my daughter's life verse: "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!" (John 16:33)

DISCLAIMER: If you are dealing with depression right now, God's Word is a great Source of help! I know it; it's what has kept me each time depression and suicide come back for more. Know that if there is depression, suicide is not far behind. And if you are not a believer or just can't seem to pray, know that I am praying for you and Jesus is interceding always on your behalf. Get help! If you are contemplating suicide and are in danger of following through, call 911! If you are depressed or have suicidal thoughts not yet manifested, call the following:

http://brokenbelievers.com/247-crisis-lines/

1-800-273-TALK (8255) or TTY 1-800-799-4TTY (4889) (for suicide)

1-888-NEEDHIM

Biblical help for youth in crisis 1-800-HIT-HOME

Rapha National Network 1-800-383-HOPE

Prayer and General Counseling www.prayerandhope.org, 1-866-599-2264

There is no pressure to know Jesus. They just want to give you the help that you need. Hold. On.

Transparent Death of Self

So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. Romans 6:11

A church podcast that I frequently listento and gather information from, Elevation Church, has a series called Death To Selfie. A powerful look at the only twins I know of who are completely opposite and are rivals, each one having the love of a parent, not both. Esau and Jacob come out of the womb competing and at the end of this second sermon, Pastor Steve Furtick is in the kitchen with them as Esau freely gives his inheritance away for a simple and temporary bowl of "red stew". The climax of his lesson takes such a sharp turn that if your seatbelt is not on, you will fall off your seat! He goes from the twin brothers who, although they reconcile in the end, Esau can never get his inheritance back from Jacob (one fact that I picked up is this is about grace and being blessed regardless of your carnal greed for instant gratification) to the eternal reconciliatin that Christ Jesus gave us at the Cross!! Amazing!!

The reason I started with that is to show the difference of being alive to sin and dead to sin. Esau, being well aware of his hunger after a possibly long and ardous hunt, could not think further than where he was at at the moment... hungry (Gen 25:30). He was alive to right now and dead to eternity. How harsh a realization that is for me when I think of the many times, as a Christ follower, I have chosen to be alive to my sins because they felt better or looked better or sounded better or tasted better. Words I cannot take back, actions I cannot remove, feelings that poison my heart and thinking are freely chosen instead of allowing God to deal with things.

What are you dead to, sin or God....

Transparent Growth In Action

And they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.  And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles.  And all who believed were together and had all things in common.  And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need.  And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved. Acts 2:42-47

It's very rare that I get on a soapbox unless it has to deal with me or my issues. This is one of those times when I must extend that scepter to the Body again.... 

We as the Body of Christ have been off course. We have been distracted and duped into believing certain things matter when they actually don't and so the alarm must be sounded. Let me explain.

On Sunday after a frustrating morning, I was able to push through and worship at church and hear from God on some personal things, to which I'm sure I will blog about later. When I got home, while looking through emails, one caught my eye but I didn't read it. The subject line was about Jesus not commanding us to make churches full... or something like that. I instantly wondered why we are so bent on churches growing, sometimes into these mega, super packed, never personal followings. That's when God "got in my window" and schooled me on some things. First and foremost, He let me know how out of line and off course we are. He directed me to Acts 2 where the first gathering (church) was formed and how fast they grew, not because of all of the posters, commercials, "be a bringer" messages, coaxing members to get out there and find people or any other fantastic way to get people to join "our church" instead of the next pastor's church. No, they grew because they did Kingdom work... they were about their Father's business. They sold possessions, something we as believers today do not believe in (maybe we feel our items are more priceless than PURE gold decanters or SOLID silver plates, etc). They distributed among ALL (this includes those around them but maybe not in their actually "congregation"), they ate together, worshiped together and because of THIS, they had the favor with ALL people... and because of this, the Lord added to them. 

How simple it is and how easy we have moved away from this simple task which is also a Scripture itself! Matthew 6:33 states to seek first the Kingdom of God and ALL its righteousness AND as a promise, He will add all else to us... the all else? That's in the passages above verse 33 if you wanna know what's included! And then to boot, He reminds us NOT to worry about tomorrow because that is a whole other day! Focus on Him for THIS DAY... hmmm.... isn't that in a prayer that Jesus taught us to pray? "Give us THIS DAY our DAILY bread"???? 

Let's get back to focus and do the will of our Father as HE states it. Not as we declare it, explain it, water it down, or interpret it. 

Father, we repent as your children for what we have fashioned after our own desires and lusts instead of what You have for us. We have allowed ourselves to be conformed to the trappings of this world and claimed to be renewed all at the same time. We bring this disease of self to you God and ask you to forgive our sin of forgetting Your Kingdom and all its righteousness. We repent of making our church services into something that glorifies us more so than You and does our egos good more than Your Kingdom. Your Word says that if we Your people, who are called by Your name,would humble ourselves and pray, and seek Your face, and turn from our wickedways only then will You hear from heaven and forgive our sin and heal our land. I speak to every dry bone in Your family who lays defeated in the valley to arise and live. We will humble ourselves Lord, we will pray and seek Your face, and we will turn from our wicked, worldly ways and will wait for Your promise to hear our cry, forgive our sin and heal our land. Thank You God for Your faithfulness and lovingkindness while Your children run amuck in this dark world! Thank You for meeting us in the road with arms wide open as we realize we need You and come back to You after our journeys in this place! In Jesus name! Amen!

Indeed I'm free!

"If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." John 8:36

These past two weeks have been a drought for me in energy, motivation, drive, writing and even financially. After I write this one, I will be finally starting the miniseries I was supposed to. 

As I drove from dropping my oldest two off to work (we have a vehicle situation.... we have none), I began to be drawn to the road signs telling exits and which was taking me where. I came to what seemed a crossroads in my short "to home" journey but it seemed to be much bigger, much heavier than that. I saw in front of me two signs. One said "to downtown" and the other said "to Lincoln" which I had just been the night before. As I drove towards the one that led me downtown, I seemed to have been released into a new freedom, one like never before. One that seemed to release me and allow me to go anywhere. I can't explain it other than to say I am free. There was an instant lifting off of my chest that I had not known or had forgotten was there before. By merely merging left, I seemed to have crossed into a spiritual gate that had been opened for me and I now was free.

God predestined plans for us are coming into fruition. I find myself changing up my language from "God is doing something" or "God is up to something" or "God is shifting something" to saying what He has ordained, what He has planned, and the path He has prepared for us we are now coming to. I believe that is what is happening all throughout the world with His people. We are realizing and/ or already have realized that we are free, indeed. This is coming through training that is necessary. Let me explain what I mean.

I spoke with my sister yesterday who explained to me all that she is going through. I heard from a friend last week the struggles that she is enduring. I am reading about all those who are Facebook friends the struggles they have to contend with. And then there is me.... Evicted, broke, no car, no job or prospect right now, bills piling up, I'm not even able to do school right now because I didn't heed a warning to drop the two classes I was to take last summer. It would take a miracle to get my family on our feet. Yet, we are free. Doesn't that sound crazy?! At this point, I am free from worry. I mean I could, but why? What does that do, how does that help my situation? Through all of this training, I have been able to let some things go and take up some crucial learning that I needed. This is a season of basic training for some and officer training for others. I believe the passage says "to whom much is given, much is required".....

When I looked for this passage which seemed to come just as I was crossing the very sign, the epitome of this freedom, I saw every version had virtually the same thing except NLT. It reads "you are free indeed" while the others say "shall be" or "will be". When I researched, I saw that there was no variable difference, just the wording. Then I turned to the words "free" and there is where the difference stood. The text for "makes you free" in the original means to set at liberty, to make free and "free" in the sense of us being "free indeed" means basically that we are no longer a slave. So literally what I heard is when Jesus gives us freedom, NO ONE can take it!!! We are indeed free!!!

Do not let the trappings of this world make you a prisoner again. If God has planned for something to be taken in your life, give it freely knowing He has something better in mind.... even if that something is the knowledge that He is all you need!! And do not let the enemy lie to you and tell you that you are the only one going through something right now.... 1 Peter 5:9 tells us to resist him (the devil), stand firm in our faith with the knowledge that our family in Christ all over the world are going through similar struggles (my version). Don't believe me? Pick up a newspaper, drive down the street and look at the homeless, miserable, and broken, go to a hospital and view the sick, go into a bank and watch who goes in confidant and comes out defeated.... Go through your training knowing that you are free indeed!!!

Basic Training

Proclaim this among the nations: Consecrate for war; stir up the mighty men. Let all the men of war draw near; let them come up.

Beat your plowshares into swords, and your pruning hooks into spears; let the weak say, "I am a warrior."

Hasten and come, all you surrounding nations, and gather yourselves there. Bring down your warriors, O LORD.

Let the nations stir themselves up and come up to the Valley of Jehoshaphat; for there I will sit to judge all the surrounding nations.

Put in the sickle, for the harvest is ripe. Go in, tread, for the wine press is full. The vats overflow, for their evil is great. Joel 3:9-13 So, this has been an interesting year already, huh?? I mean, I know I am not the only one going through hardships, trials, storms and struggles that end in loss! Even if no one speaks up, His Word assures me that across the world, brothers are going through the same trials as me! Isn't that a relief to know? Doesn't that make it that much easier?? No?? No, I didn't think so either. But let me share what I have learned over these past 6 months of this year. I have learned how to stand. I have learned how to fasten my armor (although I don't always do it). I have learned what my battle cry is and how to use it. I have learned my limits and that God is limitless. I have learned to take the mask off and be wen more transparent, not just blunt. Most importantly, I have learned to seek I know how much my ABBA truly does love me. I have cried, contemplated suicide, tried to give up, fumbled and dropped the ball, blamed myself, blamed others, befriended deceit and offense, and held grudges throughout this journey. Yet, as the dust settles and my eyes clear, I notice that I am still standing. No, not in the same place as when I started this year with my "one power word for the year" and determination. No, unlike Natalie Grant, I have been moved, but I m STILL on the Rock!! He is STILL my foundation! I have been at my lowest this year, losing my house after 12 long years and having to stay with my mom again. But I am still breathing, I am still moving and I am still loved by my King! Now let me tell you HOW this was achieved. We are in an intense battle right now. We are fighting for our rights, for our freedom, for our voice to be heard, our dignity, respect and even Constitution to be honored as it was written not as we want it to read. That battle, as good as it is, has taken us away from what we are to be in battle mode for. Notice I said battle mode. Our battle mode, stance if you will, is to be standing on His Word, interceding on our behalf and others. And we get there through intense training. Take basic training, for instance. As I was listening to Pastor Paul Sheppard, he spoke about being in the military and how basic training is not a vacation! He even suggested to ask someone in the military about it. Well, as a child of TWO military people, I can tell you they say it is hard! My mom talked once about an infection she got while they were in combat training because she had to keep moving.  And it doesn't end with harsh basic training. Any training is not a day at the spa! Training for a marathon with a friend right now, I am having to cut out certain foods I love to not only lose weight but keep from gaining it as well. On the job training (OJT) can be hard to keep up with depending on what is needed to know and how much time you have to learn it.  The point is, everything that you go through is training. When we start viewing our circumstances, trials, storms, hardships and strife as training instead of wasting time asking why Lord and assuming He, who cannot lie and has said He would NEVER leave nor forsake us, is not near us and doesn't love us or is punishing us, THEN we can be proactive in our training and take it for what it is worth, a strengthening of our faith and dependence on God so that He can get ALL the glory!! The next few weeks, I want to go over the armor of God, piece by piece so that we will be well equipped when going out the door, or for some waking up with the enemy close at hand. It's time to wake up Christian soldiers!! We have a battle line we should be standing at and nations to be praying for! Will you join me in this training??